growth requires adaptation
If you’re invested in personal growth, I bet you’ve spent a lot of time building an optimal system of habits:
A morning routine to set you up for a productive day
An exercise plan that pushes you
A self-care practice to downregulate
You’ve carefully curated this system of habits to optimize for growth. It addresses all the variables. It’s balanced, it should stand the test of time.
But after a while, your morning routine feels stale, your exercise plan delivers less progress, and you go through the motions of your self-care practice with your mind on something else.
The confusion and frustration seeps in… what is wrong? What variable could you have possibly missed? Do you just need to grit your teeth and try harder?
WHY isn’t this working?
The truth is, it did work. For a time. For a season.
The problem doesn’t lie in the system; it’s in your inability to recognize when it’s time to let it evolve into something different. Systems are important- they provide the scaffolding we need to grow. Friction starts when we try to take a system that worked for a specific season of our life and force it to become a permanent fixture- static and unchanging.
I understand why we do this. Rigidity offers a sense of security. We are on a mission to “set and forget.” We want to put in the hard work once; create the perfect routine, make it a habit, shift to autopilot, and move our focus elsewhere, hoping that part of our life will continue to take care of itself.
But this was never going to work. We are dynamic beings with changing wants and needs. As we grow, the systems that support us need to as well. Otherwise, any structure that we’ve outgrown becomes a cage; a glass ceiling for our evolution.
It’s no wonder we feel stuck: Growth requires adaptation.
To trade rigidity for fluidity, we need a reliable framework to help us pivot when a routine goes stale. This is my three-part formula for practicing and building adaptability every day:
Discernment: The ability to tune into internal cues and tune out external noise. It’s the skill of slowing down and connecting with yourself to recognize what season of life you’re actually in, despite what the world is asking of you.
Acceptance: The act of relinquishing control of what we “wish were true.” It’s active alignment- honouring and leaning into these seasons rather than resisting them.
Congruence: The courage to match our behaviours and effort to that reality. This is the practical application of your truth- the action of shifting gears as the seasons change.
These aren’t “one and done” steps to complete- they are a continuous rhythm to return to again and again. Whenever you hit a wall, run yourself through this loop:
Feel stuck? » Check in (Discernment) » Face the truth (Acceptance) » Match your actions (Congruence) » Move forward »
When we engage in this ongoing practice, the “stuckness” dissolves.
In becoming adaptable, we stop undermining our growth by trying to force one system to fit us for a lifetime. Instead, we build the skills to know exactly which tools to reach for, no matter the season.
I hope this perspective helps.
Thanks for being here,
B x
