growth requires adaptation

If you’re invested in personal growth, I bet you’ve spent a lot of time building an optimal system of habits -

A morning routine to set you up for a productive day;

An exercise plan that pushes you;

A self care practise to downregulate.

You’ve carefully curated this system of habits to optimise for growth. It addresses all the variables. It’s balanced - it should stand the test of time.

But after a while your morning routine feels stale, your exercise plan delivers less progress, and you go through the motions of your self care practise with your mind on something else.

The confusion and frustration seeps in… what is wrong? What variable could you have possibly missed? Do you just need to grit your teeth and try harder?

WHY isn’t this working?

The truth is it did work. It was perfect. For a time. For a season.

The problem doesn’t lie in the system; it’s in your inability to recognise when it’s time to let it evolve into something different.

Systems are important - they provide the scaffolding we need to grow.

Friction starts when we try to take a system that worked for a specific season of our life and force it to become a permanent fixture - static and unchanging.

I understand why we do this - rigidity offers a sense of security. We are on a mission to “set and forget”. We want to put in the hard work once; create the perfect routine, make it a habit, shift to autopilot and move our focus elsewhere, hoping that part of our life will continue to take care of itself.

But this was never going to work. We are dynamic beings with changing wants and needs. As we grow, the systems that support us need to as well.

Otherwise, any structure that we’ve outgrown becomes a cage; a glass ceiling for our evolution.

It’s no wonder we feel stuck: Growth requires adaptation.

We can build adaptability by investing in the practise of these three skills:

Discernment, Acceptance, and Congruence:

Discernment is the ability to tune into internal cues and tune out external noise. It’s the skill of slowing down and connecting with yourself to recognise what season of life you’re in, despite what the world is asking of you.

Acceptance is the act of relinquishing control of what we “wish were true”. It’s active alignment; honouring and leaning into these seasons rather than resisting them.

Congruence is the courage to match our behaviours and effort to that reality. It is the practical application of your truth - the action of shifting gears as the seasons change.

These aren’t “one and done” steps to complete - they are a rhythm to return to again and again.

In practise, this may look like:

Feel stuck > Check in with yourself (Discernment) > Lean into the truth (Acceptance)> Match your actions to what you need (Congruence) > move forward.

When we engage in this ongoing practise, we trade rigidity for fluidity and this “stuckness” dissolves.

In becoming adaptable we stop undermining our growth by trying to force one system to fit us for a lifetime. Instead, we build the skills to know which tools to reach for.

I hope this perspective helps.

Thanks for being here,

B x